The Internal Risk Inspector
Over the years, I’ve come to realise that there is a little voice inside of my head that seems to be responsible for assessing risk. I call him The Internal Risk Inspector. It is a voice that I guess is there to protect me and at the same time it is a voice that, when listened to, often prevents me from taking risks and fulfilling my potential.
It is a dominant voice that sometimes runs the show when I am not present and aware. Quite often the voice brings indecision and a lack of assertiveness in life. I realise that this voice is a separate part of me, created by the mind. When The Internal Risk Inspector is in control he holds me back from stepping into my greatness.
So, I decided to ask my higher self, you might call this God, Supreme Consciousness, a Higher Power, etc, if he would have a conversation between The Internal Risk Inspector and Craig.
Let’s see what’s really going on here: –
Higher Self: Craig, does your Risk Inspector have a name?
Craig: No, just call him the Risk Inspector.
Higher Self: What do you feel about him?
Craig: Lately he is really annoying.
Higher Self: How is he annoying?
Craig: He tries to prevent me from fully expressing myself. He is way too conservative. He’s like a broken record. Most of the time I know what I should do. I feel it in my heart. It feels right and I’m excited and then he comes online and creates chaos.
Higher Self: What kind of things does he say to you?
Craig: He’ll say things like:
‘don’t do it because it’s too risky’
‘maybe you aren’t ready yet’
‘don’t expose yourself fully’
‘don’t tell the truth’, etc.
Higher Self: How does this affect you in your life when you listen to him?
Craig: I keep it safe. I don’t fully expose myself and share my gifts with the world. It stops me from following my heart and my passion in life. I become indecisive and instead of making assertive decisions, I procrastinate and stay alone.
Higher Self: What else?
Craig: When he comes online I often feel internal anger and rage.
This forces me into destructive habitual patterns to suppress the anger such as overeating, eating sugar, drinking alcohol, overworking in the office, hibernating on my own, etc, and I don’t engage with the world.
Higher Self: So what would you like to happen here today?
Craig: I’d like to be able to acknowledge his presence and then make my own choices that are based on an inner passion and knowing.
Higher Self: Would you like me to speak with him to find out why he does this?
Craig: Yes, please.
Higher Self: Ok, I will speak with him now?
Higher Self: Hello Risk Inspector?
Risk Inspector: Hello
Higher Self: How long have you been trying to advise Craig?
Risk Inspector: About 44 years.
Higher Self: Wow, so almost the whole of Craig’s life?
Risk Inspector: Yes.
Higher Self: When did you first come into Craig’s life?
Risk Inspector: When he was a small baby around the age of 1.
Higher Self: Wow. Why did you come into his life at this point?
Risk Inspector: Because I realised that his mother and father made him feel guilty whenever he cried or got angry. They allowed him to laugh a lot but whenever he expressed himself in other ways they would tell him to stop and be quiet.
Higher Self: So, this made Craig feel guilty?
Risk Inspector: Yes, extremely guilty and he felt like he was bad.
Higher Self: So what role have you played since this early period?
Risk Inspector: I’ve simply been protecting Craig from getting hurt.
Higher Self: So what do you do?
Risk Inspector: I give him safe choices to make in life. If he comes up with a decision that involves expressing himself, being seen, or sharing his knowledge in the world I give him alternatives because I want to protect him so he doesn’t get hurt.
Higher Self: Do you love Craig?
Risk Inspector: Of course I do.
Higher Self: What might have happened if you hadn’t started to advise Craig during his early childhood?
Risk Inspector: He would have been severely ridiculed and wounded emotionally by his parents and other people in his life.
Higher Self: So you have been playing an active role in Craig’s life in order to help him?
Risk Inspector: Yes.
Higher Self: Does Craig know this?
Risk Inspector: I’m not sure because he never talks to me. He just gets angry and his body starts to contract.
Higher Self: So you don’t have a healthy relationship with each other?
Risk Inspector: No, I just do my job the best I can.
Higher Self: Thank you for your time. It was nice to meet you. I’m sure we will meet again? Now I will talk to Craig again.
Higher Self: Hi Craig. I have been talking with your Risk Manager?
Craig: What did he say?
Higher Self: Firstly, are you aware how long he has been in your life?
Craig: It feels like most of my life actually.
Higher Self: Do you know why he came into your life?
Craig: No, please enlighten me.
Higher Self: He came into your life to protect you as a small innocent child. He saw that mum and dad weren’t happy whenever you cried, got angry, or expressed yourself as a baby and small child. Your parents used to say things to you like: ‘stop crying’, ‘why are you such a cry baby’, ‘you cry too much’ and they even hit you whenever you got angry or screamed. This was terrifying for you and you felt trauma from this. Your Risk Inspector came into your life to prevent further trauma. He taught you how to behave in order to please mum and dad so you didn’t get hurt anymore.
Craig: Really? That sucks that mum and dad would do this!
Higher Self: They loved you very deeply and they behaved in this way because your parents were taught this from their own parents. Your parents were also trying to protect you from getting hurt in the world. Crazy, isn’t it?
Craig: Now I see that both my parents and my Internal Risk Inspector actually loved me and were trying to protect me!
Higher Self: What do you believe now about the situation?
Craig: Well I can see clearly that as a small child I needed protecting. But now I’m a grown man. I don’t need to identify with this little boy anymore and I don’t have to always follow the advice of my Risk Inspector. I am running the show, not him. He is the one who is driven by fear.
Higher Self: So the Risk Inspector is the one who is scared?
Craig: Yes, I simply want to live a life of passion, not a life of fear.
Higher Self: So how will you behave moving forwards from this point in his life?
Craig: I will make my own choices without the interference from him.
I know he will still advise me but I am strong enough to follow my heart, to take risks, and to make decisions in my life with conviction.
Higher Self: And is there is risk if you make your own choices?
Craig: No, I don’t feel there is because I would be living authentically.
Higher Self: Are you complete?
Higher Self: Is there anything you’d like to say to your Risk Inspector?
Craig: Yes. Risk Inspector, I want to thank you for protecting me in my life, especially in my younger years. You have served me well. I know you will always be with me and I welcome you. You need to know that I am not a small boy anymore. I am a grown adult man and I run the show around here, not you. I know you will still try to advise me but your advice is based on fear from the past. I will not live a life of fear anymore. I will live a life of passion driven by my heart’s desire for love, freedom, and connection.
Higher Self: Thank You Craig. How else can I be of service to you?
Craig: Now I am clear. Thank You for always being with me. Now, I am finally able to listen clearly to you without the interference from the Risk Inspector. My life is an act of grace given to me by you.